Living 23 miles off the coast of Maine on an island where there are more resident birds than human, I remained happily removed from the chaotic turmoil that made up this election season. It was all a far off nightmare, easy to pretend that no such reality existed, what silliness what this going on on the mainland anyways? Instead of focusing on the ugliest of the ugly in politics, I slept in a tent, lived in the sunshine, studied and learned about birds, saw more stars than might even be possible for one human to comprehend, held fuzzy seabird chicks, watched a constantly changing canvass that was the sky and all that paints it.
Ha. Well, I don't know what to say about all that's happened and plenty of more politically-minded souls are absolutely (and rightfully so) taking up the airwaves. But seriously. What. The. Fuck. And furthermore: WTF my fellow white female Americans?!? I'm ashamed of my country and I'm ashamed that females are still not considering (or able to consider) themselves a worthy sex. Why else would they truly consider voting for such a hateful misogynist? If anyone really thinks he's going to or even capable of doing what he says he's going to do to "M.A.G.A." (I can't even write out the words, they make the bile rise in my throat), they're not just fooling themselves, they're setting a sad example of themselves as "Americans" and we're all going to suffer as a result.
I'm terrified for not just us, I'm scared for planet Earth. Americans have the biggest hand in ruining it and, now that we have a climate denier as our new "leader", we will likely find ourselves further sidestepping the responsibility that comes along with changing our future for the better. Nevermind jobs or healthcare! If our natural resources are destroyed without regard to our future generations thanks to the fact that we're the greediest of the greedy, we're going to have a whole lot more to worry about. The whole hindsight thing is going to catch up on us with a vengeance.
Have a read!
Chaosbeyond: My Drug
Getting lost in a story is my drug of choice. My escape. What I am escaping is the world and how depressing it is. It is comforting to just lean back and enter another reality where the problems you are facing are not your own. In the story, they are fighting the bad guys, saving the world, becoming heroes. In real life, our fight seems hopeless and there is no end. What good am I here? We are all just a single number, lost among the billions. Every single one of us is no better, no worse than another but, of course no one person wants to give in to that truth. So either they step upon others to raise themselves or they become the stepped upon. And everyone loses because we are all so jaded. And meanwhile the world itself begins to crumble. And we're all so caught up in our own struggle to truly ever be able to come together and do anything about it. So what is my place in this mess? What is anyone's responsibility and how far does one's responsibility span? What if I just want to escape? Am I a bad person for shirking a supposed responsibility? I want to be happy. I want to support myself and not feel guilty for how I live my life. Feeling guilty, this is a big thing: GUILT.
Just by being born, just by living, I am adding to the destruction of the planet. We all are.
EVEN DAVID ATTENBOROUGH AGREES!! (..8 years later)
We begin marching to our own death as we emit our first exhalation. It starts small but then we learn that we are a middle class, white, american, and we buy our laptops and our ipods and cars, live in our overly air conditioned and heated homes and throw away our masses and masses of package waste. What would it look like if it followed us, if we had to step through it, drag it, wear it? Would we try harder to make sure it never even began? Every girl and boy comes to a point in their live where they are capable of the realization of their detrimental contribution to the earth and they can either do something about it or ignore it. Either way, so much has already been done. Every day, think about how many children are being born. Think about how each and every one of us is another bullet through the earth's heart.
I need to go get lost again. In the woods, in a story, anywhere but here.
Sorry to be so heavy, I'm just feeling pretty lost right now. If you want a pick-me-up, head over to my blog at www.feathersawry.wordpress.com for adorable pictures of baby birds to get your mind off things. This little tern chick can help get you there, just click on the pic but don't wake him up!